My Private Realm

This is my space to write about whatever I want. I come here to vent, to record observations, and to share my stories and writing. Ultimately, I come here to be alone with my thoughts.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Wordsmithsunlimited Writing Exercise

Hi Everybody,

This is a story I wrote for the current Wordsmithsunlimited writing exercise. Their website is http://wordsmithsunlimited.blogspot.com. The exercise is to write a 500 word story that depicts a dialogue between you and your favorite childhood toy. Here it is. I hope you like it.

Mow: My pink cat, My best friend

The little girl comes in the front door, followed by her Mommy and Daddy. Her brown curly-haired head is barely up to the adults’ knees. Grandma and Grandpa come to say hello to the little girl and exclaim over her leopard print poncho: “So cute! Lovely! Adorable!" The little girl is nonplussed. She had left something behind on her last visit, and wants to see it again very badly. She remembers that it was in the den and goes straight there.

She opens the door, using both hands because it's very heavy. The room is full of glowing sunlight; the warm honey-colored beams create a beautiful pattern on the carpet. There on the floor is a pink cat with blue eyes and a long tail. The little girl rushes over and picks her up.

There are cries of joy and happiness. The adults in the next room smile to hear them. The sounds come again, and this time the adults imagine she’s having a conversation with her friend. How would it go, they wonder?

“Mow, I found you!”

“You’re back!”

The little girl hugs her cat.

“I missed you. I’m so happy to see you!”

“I missed you too. Don’t leave me again”.

The little girl shakes her head, her brown curls bouncing.

“I won’t. I promise.”

“What did you do while you were away?”

“My Daddy and I went out. We had a lot of fun. We ate ice cream!”

“Wow, I love ice cream. What’s your favorite?”

“I like pink ice cream”.

“Me too.”

The little girl lies on the floor with her cat beside her and colors a picture.

“What color should the princess’s dress be?” she asks her cat. “Let’s make it red”.

“Oh yes, that would be pretty”.

“And her hair? Brown or yellow?”

“Let’s color it brown, like yours!”

The little girl and her cat finish the picture and are both very proud of what they’ve accomplished.

“Let’s show Mommy our picture, Mow”.

“Yes, she’ll love it”.

The little girl gets up and races to the kitchen with her picture. She goes up to her Mommy and holds it out, smiling and excited. All the adults tell her how beautiful the picture is. Mommy tries to pick her up, but she squirms and makes a sound of annoyance. Mommy puts her down and the little girl runs off.

“I can’t wait until that child talks,” says Daddy.

The cat is waiting for her in the den.

“Did she like it?”

“Oh yes, she said it was the most prettiest picture ever”.

The little girl and her cat are playing hide and seek when Mommy comes in the room.

“It’s time to go home, sweet pea”.

The little girl grabs her cat and hugs her tight. She’s still holding Mow in the car and even while Mommy is putting on her pajamas. She won’t let go, because she promised.

And when she’s in bed drifting off to dreamland, Mow is there, safe in her arms.








4 Comments:

At 5:12 PM, Blogger tiff said...

THANK YOU!

Now, would you PLEASE explain how you found wordsmiths? We're curious like that. :>

 
At 9:59 PM, Blogger Kingfisher said...

I love the way the kitty always uses positive reinforcement. It is simultaneously childlike and a lesson for parents.

The beginning starts as omniscient, but the rest is from the child's POV. Needs some shuffling.

The title tells more than I think is necessary. Let the story tell about the "best friend." A title of "Mow" or "Pink Cat" is obscure, and makes us discover the truth in the reading.

The last sentence needs...something. I'm not sure what. Something less stiff, like:

"Good night, Mow."

"It always is with you."

Just my interpretation.

Thanks for the contribution!

 
At 1:02 PM, Blogger Biff Spiffy said...

I've started to call my cat Mow, thanks to you. It's not even pink.

I like how you've captured the single-mindedness of youth, where nothing much matters until you find what you're looking for.

I had to read it a few times to get a handle on the perspective; it seemed to shift from first to third person a bit.

Your story reminded me of how articulate my own thoughts and conversations were inside my head, but learning to communicate with others was so difficult. Still a problem for me, sometimes...

Well done!

 
At 1:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ADORABLE!!!!!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home